What makes us human?

What makes us human? We are animals, mammals in fact, but what makes us human? Some say it the ability to use tools. Sure that's part of it but chimps and otters use tools also. Is it the opposable thumb, well no, chimps have those too. Is it the ability to communicate? All creatures communicate with each other so I think it's more than that. Is it religion or spirituality? I guess that could be a piece of the puzzle. How about creativity? Some argue that animals, cats for example, paint, I have to disagree, I don't think cats create art on purpose, I think creating art is a human component.

Homo Erectus lived 1.6 million to 250,000 years ago. It has been said that Homo Erectus was the first human to give us human like qualities. Qualities being the ability to control fire, make tools, stand up straight, create a language and a creative aspect that was manifested in the form of cave wall art, eerily similar to cat paintings, if I dare say. Homo Sapiens followed in the footsteps of Homo Erectus and now Homo Sapiens spend a great amount of time studying Homo Erectus and those before him.

There is a scientist, Spencer Wells who has been taking blood samples from thousands of people across the world and has studied human DNA (Y chromosomes specifically) looking for a marker of some sort. His studies have revealed that at some point there was probably less than 2,000 humans in the world and that current humans descend from this hold out group of survivors. There is actually a tribe in Africa that is the most direct link to Homo Erectus, it has the least diluted DNA of all groups of people. When studying the faces of these people you can see a little bit of just about every culture. It's remarkable really.

But all this talk about humanity has gotten me thinking about procreation and humanity. I personally think being human is comprised of a few key components that animals just don't have. Number one on my list is, EMPATHY. I see this so much since I started blogging. There is a lot of empathy going around for infertiles these days and I think that is a very human quality. I know some will argue that chimps have shown signs of empathy or compassion, but I don't think chimps would send an email to a friend who started her period or who had a miscarriage. HOPE, is another quality that humans possess. "I hope I get pregnant this month, I hope our adoption works out", are key examples of how hope works its way into my life right now. I also hope these same things for other people in the same shoes as me which shows both empathy and hope, I guess I'm human after all.

The first 1& 1/2 years of failed TTC attempts were difficult. Each month that I would get a BFN or my trusty period would show, I would be extremely upset and emotional. I would ask Alex, "why is this so fricking hard for me, why do I want a baby so badly?". His answer was so comforting that it has made the last year of failed TTC months more bearable. I remind myself of it all the time and I thought I should share it with all of you. He said (this is as close to a quote as I can get), "it's not something that you have control over. It's part of being human, it's part of who you are. The need to create a child is ingrained in your brain, in your being, in your soul. It's part of what makes us human, wanting a baby, not just wanting sex. You are normal for wanting this and you can't feel bad for having that drive to have a baby inside you".

For millions of years (or at least hundreds of thousands of years) humans have had sex and made babies. Was sex just for the orgasm? I don't think so. I think Alex is right, I think this is just part of us, a drive, a force, a component of being human. It's different than Empathy, Hope, Creativity or Spirituality because I don't think you have to have the Reproductive Drive to be human but I do think it's something very human and only human to feel devastated when it doesn't happen.

So next time you infertiles out there are down and sad about another period starting or another month of no adoption news just remember, you are normal for feeling this pain. The rest of us humans would love to show you some empathy to encourage you to have some hope to embrace your spirituality and if all else fails try to get your cat to paint.