Update

So I called the New Mexico Department of Child, Youth and Family Services back today, to see what the status of the report is regarding the monster. The first lady I spoke with was curt, not rude, but extremely curt with me and basically told me it was "screened out". Now if she really thought that was going to appease me, boy does she have it wrong. So I asked her, "who screens these things out and how do I find out why this case was screened out". She told me she would ask a supervisor.

So while waiting for info from her, I decided to call the New Mexico Probation/Parole department trying to figure out if the terms of Mr. Monster's parole include not being able to be around minors. While on the phone with them, Ms. "Curt" called back and left me a message. The message stated that the case was screened out because, "the NM CYF does not investigate abuse or neglect of unborn babies". So basically this child has to be born into an abusive situation before someone will help or investigate.

I asked if anyone had looked into this guy's terms of parole to see if he is even allowed to be in the presence of a minor and nobody had an answer for me. I was able to find out who his probation officer is so I called and left her a message, asking if she could look into the terms and conditions of his parole because there was about to be a baby born that will live under the same roof as him. I doubt I will get any phone calls back from this point on but I still need to find out if this child can be saved.

I must admit, there is a huge part of me that wants to just pack this paperwork in a box and never look at it again. I want to walk away from all this, move on with our lives and hope for the best. I'm not as angry as I was Thursday, the grief is turning into a kind of hopeless stage. Things just aren't right around here. It's like everything around me is gray. I'm not overly excited about moving to our new home, or any of the other projects that I have going on.

About the only thing that I find joy in right now are my husband, dogs and Angels baseball. I love watching baseball with Alex in the evenings. I can forget about everything else and just watch an exciting game. The Angels are doing well and hopefully they will make the playoffs. They have a 5 game lead with 6 games to go.