Does it really ever happen?
Does adoption ever really happen? I can't be the only person out there who wonders if this will ever really happen. I feel like I'm in that movie Ground Hog's Day where you wake up each morning and the same day as yesterday starts all over again. I wake up each morning and I think to myself, I can't believe we still don't have a child. I can't believe this is so damn hard. Do people like us really get chosen and get a baby. Or does this not-so-fun time in our lives keep going until we finally give up and accept that our dogs will be our only children.
I'm silly I guess. I really thought we would be one of the lucky couples who gets matched the first week their profile is up. I thought for sure we would have a baby by summer time. We signed with the agency in January. Our on-line profile has been up since March and every month we have received lots of hits. Now for some reason we have gone down to only 45 hits for the month of September. Look at the stats below:
September 2005 45 Average
August 2005 276 Excellent
July 2005 163 Above Average
June 2005 168 Above Average
May 2005 245 Excellent
April 2005 210 Above Average
March 2005 262 Excellent
When I was a kid there was a house in our town that seemed to always be for sale. It was almost always vacant. It was a great looking house on a nice street. We decided that it must be haunted.
Our we that haunted house? I mean we look like a normal 30-something couple on the outside, but why are we still vacant and still up for sale? Why are we not appealing to anyone. Two failed matches and 8 months later we still have no baby and now I really don't have much hope. I don't want to be a drama queen but really I'm beginning to wonder if adoption will work for us.
Today I'm going to make a phone call to a doctor in Nor Cal who specializes in immunity therapy. I'de like to see what tests they would run on us to see if that is our issue. Because as much as I want to adopt, I just don't think it will ever happen. Maybe we have to go back to the medical world and try more testing and more ART.
posted by Away2me @ 7:56 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
Hi Deanna
I was in the same boat as you. Two failed matches and totally losing hope. I said those exact words, "Does adoption ever work out??"
It's a long story, but to make it short...We ended up pulling our file to take a break. Then, out of the blue we got "the" call. Against all odds because we were not supposed to be shown. My son was born three weeks later on my husbands birthday.
If you ever want to talk, I'm on msn and yahoo. Let me know and I'll send you my user names.
Leigh
Deanna....
long time lurker. wanted to de-lurk to give you some encouragement. You and alex will be picked. You are great! I am actually working with the same agency as you are..and I think they are just kind of in a "lull" right now. I've heard that august/september are actually "slow" months. Remember too..that your website will not show hits if you are matched..so your number only reflects the time since you have been "available". Forgive my rambles.
Chin up!
Mary
Mary,
Last time we were matched the hits still counted. I checked today and the "sister" web site to our agency's web site didn't have our profile up so I sent them an email asking them to look into it. Good luck with them, I'm okay with them so far, the 2 failed matches aren't their fault as far as I can see.
I'm so sorry for what you are going through right now. I didn't adopt but I did have trouble conceiving my son. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers. I know it does sound cliche, but I know there is a baby out there for you. Everything that is happening now is leading you to him or her.
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