Will I be a bad mom?

For the past two days I have had to drive down to the San Diego area for work. Both days I took Grace with me and left the two little dogs, Porter and Juanita, in the side yard. They had toys, water, bedding and were content there. The reason I know they are content there is because they run to go into the side yard in the mornings now. So they obviously like it.

My beautiful Grace wouldn't dare stay in the side yard. She is what I would call a finicky child. She only wants to be with me, will only eat certain things that only I can convince her to eat. This dog was attachment parented! She is my nearly constant companion and she knows she is special. She is also, brilliant... I'm not exaggerating, the dog is brilliant. I've been around a lot of dogs, smart dogs, dumb dogs, good dogs, etc. This dog is the smartest dog I've ever been around and most people who have been around her agree, she's the smartest dog they've been around. She's not even two-years-old yet and she's this smart.

Here's what I'm worried about. Grace is obviously my favorite and I feel awful for that. I love Porter, he's my boy, my first "born", my little man, but he can be so very annoying. He squeeks and whines and loves to bark which he knows he is not allowed to do. So after each bark he looks the other way and whines because he knows he is going to get yelled at. He's not doing anything to be bad intentionally, he is just protective of me. Then there is Juanita, the cutest thing you ever saw. I've never been around a happier dog in my life. She is always happy to see anyone. She wakes up with a smile on her face. She's also very smart and herds sheep too! All three dogs are pretty good dogs they really don't have too many bad habits, but Gracie doesn't seem to have any bad habits. Yes, she does things she shouldn't, like growl at other dogs or Porter (she doesn't really like her brother) but in my eye, she's still perfect and any bad habit to me is a cute quirk.

Will I be this way with my kids? Will I have a favorite? Will I think some of the bad habits my kid has are cute quirks? Will I be as obsessed with my kids as I am my dog? I mean, I won't let people take my dog for a walk. I worried the whole time I was on the golf course yesterday that Grace would get out of her crate at my dad's house and try to come looking for me and get killed. I went back to my dad's house as soon as I possibly could and picked her and brought her back to the golf dinner. I told dad to not let her out of the crate unless he had too and to put her on a leash right away. I actually lectured him! I had a nightmare a couple of months ago that she got to go on a cruise ship with us. We were playing frisbee on the deck and some young guys who had been drinking got the frisbee and threw it over the ships deck and Grace jumped off the boat to get the frisbee and they wouldn't stop the boat or help me save her and she drowned. I was so physically shaken by that dream that I had to get out of bed and I layed down on the floor next to her and just held her.

I can't imagine what I'll be like with a baby. I'm sure I'll never let anyone babysit him or her. I'm sure I'll have nightmares about everything going wrong. I'll probably try to wrap him in bubble wrap every time he goes out to play. I'm just so afraid I'm going to go crazy with being over protective like I am with my Gracie. I'm also afraid that I'll have favorites if I have more than one child. Do parents really love their children all the same?