Vent 'O The Day
As much as I love pregnant or new mothers to check in with us infertiles on our different groups and forums. And as much as I will probably regret writing this post, because I'm 99% sure the person who irked me reads my blog, I have to vent.
If you have a new baby, one say under the age of a year. Please, don't announce to those of us still waiting to conceive number one that you are going to start working on conceiving number two. As happy as I am for you, if feels like you are rubbing it in my face how unpregnant and non-baby-having I am. I know you don't mean to do this, but you are, and I'm not the only person who read your last post who felt this way. I'm just the only one upset enough to say something about it.
posted by Away2me @ 9:23 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
I enjoy most of your comments and sorry you were banned from the one site. Your blog is interesting as well. Lately you have come across, to me anyway, as a bitter person. I can relate a little to this from a males point of view. I have sat around many parties listening to my friend ask eachother "so are you guys done" as in are they going to have more kids and are you getting the snip or the wife getting tubes tied ect.. I think you just have to let it go. Keep thinking and posting positive posts.
P.S. Your dogs are great. We have an old english sheepdog, 2.5yrs old and would love to see her try to heard some sheep. She is just a natural with the neighbor kids. She is more of a lazy house dog though, but I am going to look into the dog club and see if I can bring her around just for fun.
Well, I don't really know the forum in which a new mother announced about number two. If it was specifically a forum for women TTC, then I agree that it was insensitive. If it was in her own space (i.e. another blog), then you need to respect that it is her space to use and share.
But, I disagree with annonymous. I haven't seen you be overly negative (i.e. a bitter person) on your blog lately. I think you are expericing moments of trouble with not being a mother, but overall I find you to be a well adjusted person. (and if you aren't, I suppose I'm just as non-adjusted as you!)
I posted my comment on a forum that was a group of women who I spent the same two years with...I tried to conceive and went through three miscarriages and tons of hearbreak and sorrow while TTC. I finally had the baby I had dreamed of for so long. Yes, we have decided to TTC again...I am not young. In fact I am nearing 40 and it took so long to conceive the first that I figure I better get started right away if I want another one.
I don't understand how I was being insensitive, but Deanna does not own the TTC group and I have belonged to it since the beginning and it was not a group which started out with a bunch of women having a hard time TTC, it was just a new group of women over 30 TTC and that's it. I guess I'm not allowed to announce happy news in a group of women that I have posted with for two years for fear I may hurt someones feelings. I guess my news and info just isn't all that important.
I will not post there again, nor will I read you're blog. I was so proud of you but now I see that you just not very interested in others.
Wow Anon - world centered around you much? Good lord - get off your high horse! If you have spent two years on an infertility board (which I have done as well) - you need to be a little more considerate of those around you.
We had people like you in our group too - that's why about a dozen of us no longer post on the board and have started our own little intimate group. Because of insensitive people like you.
Do you not have anyone else in your life to share this information with? Are these women your only friends?
D - you are not bitter and you DO care about other people (just look at all of the kind comments you have left on my blog, the encouraging phone call last week).
Anonymous #1 here,
So let me get this right, this is a place to post comments on your blog. If I dont say something nice you dont want to hear it? Seems like you are always commenting on how you like to speak your mind but doesnt work both ways? I know this is your blog so if you want me gone I will go.
Julie,
So I take it once you get pregnant, have/adopt a baby you are out of the little sorority club. sounds like a depressing place to be. Good luck.
Julie
Quote:"Wow Anon - world centered around you much? Good lord - get off your high horse! If you have spent two years on an infertility board (which I have done as well) - you need to be a little more considerate of those around you.
"
It was NOT an infertility group as I said in my comment! It was a TTC group, yes, but it wasn't an infertility group, but a bunch of women in their 30's TTC-We did NOT band together because of fertility issues. Yes, Deanna has had fertility issues and I for one wish as much as she does that she didn't, but it was NOT as I said, a group formed of women with fertility issues... in any way shape or manner at all! And yes, should I just not ever go into the group again once I have a baby? Just act like these women were never a part of my life and not offer any support to them throughout their journey (which is what I do 99% of the time when posting there) I mean how do you think the group would feel if I keep commenting on their struggles and their victories and never once mention that I am TTC again and all of a sudden my ticker says I'm 6 weeks along....I wonder how exactly that would have been taken!
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