2,231 Gallons Of Self Esteem!

Since my body hasn't totally recovered from being poisoned from the Repronex and it still hurts do a lot of tasks I decided the only thing I really wanted to do yesterday afternoon was swim. We don't have a pool, we hate public pools and I really didn't want to get slammed around in the ocean. So what is a couple to do? Well, you go to Toys R Us and you purchase a $200 "kiddy pool" complete with ladder, cover, filter pump and the need for chemicals. This small little wonder holds 2, 231 gallons of water and measures 12' in diameter and 36" deep.

We decided last week that we were going to tear the horrible looking lawn out of our backyard anyway and replace the sprinkler system and lay sod. What better way to kill at least 12' of grass than setting a pool on it for the summer.

I have pretty much been chunky since puberty. There were of course lean years and those wonderful "I'm a hotty on Phen-fen" years but overall I have always fought my weight. Alex has always made me feel sexy and beautiful even at my heaviest which is about now. But I have never really felt 100% comfortable in my nakedness around him. Yes, we have fantastic sex but when it's over I jump out of bed as demurely as possible and make sure my wide white ass is as hidden as a large white ass can be, on the way to the bathroom. So yesterday as the pool started to fill up I put on my rather boring, black, one-piece, bathing suit. I felt like a reverse penguin with my dark body and white appendages sticking out. I was sloshing around on my tummy in 6" or so of water, kind of mock swimming, when all of a sudden I got a visual in my brain. So I yelled at Alex to "watch this". I tossed a pool toy to one end of the 12' pool and starting from the other I heaved myself across the pool on my stomach in sort of a slip and slide fashion and grabbed the toy (not with my teeth). Through my snork and giggles I ask him, "what does that remind you of", he says, "I don't know". So I said, "doesn't it remind you of the National Geographic episode where the killer whales throw their bodies on the shore to grab the baby seals and then they wait for a wave and wiggle their way back into the ocean with the half-dead baby seal in their mouths"!

It was one of those moments that only a couple that is truly secure in themselves could laugh whole heartedly at. I knew by the way he didn't need to tell me I look fine or lecture me about being hard on myself that he really thought I was fine and thought it was a funny thought. I knew then that he really doesn't care how chunky my thighs are. I knew it before but it was reaffirmed in that moment of giggles between the two of us. We ended up skinny dipping in broad daylight, hoping a neighbor wouldn't peak over our wall.

The water made my sore body feel better but my wonderful Alex made everything else feel better. He always does. We can't wait to hang out at our "pool" today. As for now, its 4:00 am and my body is tired of being in bed. It still hurts to lay for long periods of time. I'm still sore, especially on my right side. I hope this damn poison leaves my body soon.